Mood: 
One thing I’m able to do is adjust my point of view during times of great emotional stress. When I told Mellissa I wasn’t interested in marriage or children after our relationship got serious she told me our time together would be limited because she wanted the opposite. I reevaluated my life within the space of a week and proposed shortly thereafter. When she told me last month that I had to leave because of my anger I did a 180 on my attitude and have become the father I never expected I could be. Now that I have been forced to accept my impending divorce I have once again adjusted my point of view.
I was fooling myself. Mellissa had moved on emotionally months ago but I’m the fixer — I see a problem and I have to fix it. I convinced myself that I could fix my relationship with my kids and our marriage. I see now that I can only do the former. There were things I could have done to keep this from happening, but Mellissa also told me that she suspects she only married me to have kids, so this might have happened anyway.
I was angry at first, but I realized this morning that I wasn’t angry at her. She made up the trial separation in order to preserve my peace of mind and not send me spiraling into despair. Now that I’m happier with myself and my relationship my Geoffrey and Emily I can properly handle our breakup. I told Mellissa last night that being in love was an illusion in an attempt to change her mind, and I meant it. This morning my illusion was gone. I still like her…I still love her…but I’m not in love with her anymore.
I’m still going to have some trouble dealing with when she gets a new boyfriend, but in the meantime we’re still friends. We still finish each other’s sentences sometimes, or arrive at the same idea concurrently.
Maybe she’ll set me up with one of her girlfriends. She has inside information on my sexual prowess after all… 