Mood: 
I’m hanging in there.
I gave Mellissa a bracelet charm shaped like a girl’s profile last night to commemorate Emily’s second birthday. I should have gotten it for her two years ago, but that’s part and parcel with all the emotional problems I was having. She’s a great mom, and deserves it, and I feel better for finally having given it to her.
Yesterday I had an instant message chat with an attractive lass at work whose engagement ended a little before my marriage did, and the conversation felt to me like she was seeing if we have compatible interests, since I know she knows I’m available. Unfortunately not…she likes dirt biking and camping, and she smokes, and I don’t like getting dirty or spending time outdoors because of my allergies and there’s bears out there. Still, opposites attract, right? 
My buddy/workmate Wiley took me out to the Industry night club on Saturday night. After the place finally filled up there were lots of gorgeous ladies to look at, but my brain was telling me, “too young, too young, holy crap that skirt is short…….too young…” I asked one lady that seemed closer to my age to dance but got the old “maybe later” response, then a few minutes later she went and danced with her girlfriend. 
I bounced onto the dance floor a couple times by myself at Wiley’s urging, but generated no interest. All in all, depressing, and a reminder that I really hate night clubs when I don’t already have a lady on my arm.
Why am I so gung-ho on getting a new girl? Well, Mellissa is a beautiful woman, and her active job is getting her back in shape. She told me that for the first time in her life she’s comfortable in her own skin. That attitude shines through, and guys are noticing (I sure am…she’s looking hot! :wink:). Since she moved on emotionally months ago she can handle me getting a girlfriend better than I can handle her getting a boyfriend, and I’ll be able to handle that better if I have a girlfriend by then. Will this cause a rebound for me? Possibly, but time won’t make a bit of difference for that. Tara was my rebound from Ruth, and that was something like 2-3 years later.
How many ex-wives do you know who would actually extol their ex-husband’s um, virtues to their friends? I’m torn between pride, gratefulness and embarrassment that she posted it on the Internet.
Geoffrey and Emily are acting out more. Geoffrey will push as far as he can the other way when told to do something he doesn’t want, like change into his pajamas for going to bed. Of course, he then also gets upset when told to change out of his pajamas in the morning. Emily is regressing, sucking on her soother a LOT these days, and flies into huge tantrums at the least provocation, usually regarding her soother. We haven’t told Geoffrey that Daddy’s not coming back home yet. Mellissa is having issues with her parents that may drive her and the kids right out the door, so combining that with the final fate of our marriage is just too much crap right now.
I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in late April. It’s covered by Medical but that’s why it’s so far in the future (stupid two-tiered medical system). I’ll be attending a support group for “difficult emotions” every Wednesday morning, probably starting next week. I’m currently on antidepressants (Effexor 75mg), and they’re helping to keep me from becoming depressed. I thought they might dull my intellect or inhibit my sense of humour but they haven’t (at least that I can tell).
Don’t rebound to a smoker, Jim! Sure, opposites attract but that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. Remember — the best time to find someone is when you’re not really looking. Until then, there’s porn.
I have no advice about the kids, which is why I don’t have any. It sounds like a bad circumstance. Maybe start watching that Nanny 911 show? They seem to be able to fix everything in a week.