Mood: :?:

So say this guy has a female roommate that he likes very much (as as friend) and she says she’s going to meet with some guy she met online who is only in town for a few weeks. Not a date, but as friends. They’re going to get a coffee and maybe play minigolf. Guy indicates that he’s concerned and she tells him she’s not going to do anything stupid.

Three hours pass (10pm). Roommate guy text messages gal to ask if they need to send out a search party. No response. Another hour-and-a-half passes and guy calls gal’s phone, getting her voice mail. He’s pretty upset by this point, as she hasn’t responded to the text message, nor has she called to check in. She could be raped and left for dead by now for all he knows.

4am rolls around and she replies to the text message, waking guy, saying she’s on her way home.

Should roommate guy be pissed off at her irresponsibility at being out for 9 HOURS without word, given that she already knew he was concerned? How about for sending a text message at 4am, when she knew he’d be asleep?

Is roommate guy overreacting?


5 Comments to “Too worried, or not enough?”

  1. blogosaurus — July 3, 2007 @ 3:05 pm

    Overreacting. (Unless they had a prior arrangement to exchange text messages or otherwise check in, which changes things.) The roommate’s concern is touching, but he’s not her mother. She an adult and has to be responsible for taking care of herself. It’s not her job to check her phone all night long just in case someone else is nervous about her social plans (again, unless there was a prior arrangement).

    But one thing doesn’t make sense – sounds like the roommate was pissed that she texted at 4am. Which is it: was he worried and wanted to hear from her, or he wants to be left alone to sleep? These are not compatible purposes. My guess is she didn’t get the text until then, and figured better late than never – especially if she thought he might have been waiting up for her, worried. She may actually have been trying to be considerate.

    But again, it’s very kind of the roommate to be so concerned. There’s nothing wrong with caring about other people. But you have to respect their right to make their own choices, even the stinky ones. Or at least that’s what I think.

  2. TK — July 3, 2007 @ 4:32 pm

    Be Pissed….That’s just plain Selfish!!

  3. Lara — July 3, 2007 @ 8:37 pm

    I’m with blogosaurus. If there was a pre-arranged check-in, then, yes, you have every right to be pissed.

    If not, then she was just out, and didn’t hear her cell phone, and didn’t know that you were anxious to hear from her. When she did notice the message, she probably texted you right away, rather than calling. If you were waiting up for her, you get the text and be reassured. If you were in bed, chances are you wouldn’t wake up, or had even turned the phone off before going to bed, and you’d get the message in the morning that sh was okay. But if she called, then she definitely would have woken you up.

  4. Joe Fulgham — July 4, 2007 @ 12:04 pm

    Roommate’s not responsible for female any more and is overreacting, and female isn’t responsible for keeping roommate appraised of her condition.

    Also, female was getting nailed by loser she met over the Internet. It’s her ditch, let her lie in it.

  5. Lorna — July 10, 2007 @ 1:08 am

    I would be a little annoyed just becasue I was worried, but I wouldn’t make a deal about it unless there was a pre-arranged just in time…like Lara said…

    I would just be glad everybody was okay and talk about it for next time….if you think this would be an on going worry.

    Other than that I’d just say ” I was a little worried because it was a unknown person from the internet… if it is a person you meet from the internet message me to let me know if he is a “whackadoo” or not next time, just so my imagination doesn’t go all wiggy.”

    but that is just my humble opinion.

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