Mood: :oops:

Your Kissing Purity Score: 54% Pure

For you, kissing isn’t a casual thing

Lip to lip action makes your heart sing

Kissing Purity Test

Mood: :smile:

So what’s everyone’s favourite type of pizza? Mine’s Hawaiian (Ham & Pineapple), with “all meat” being a close second.

Mood: :???:

Mood: :neutral:

Last night I was tidying up some clean laundry that was left on a living room chair when I noticed I was holding some thong underwear I’d never seen before. That caused me to realize I had not seen Mellissa in her underwear for the better part of a year now.

I had to turn away from the kids so they wouldn’t hear the choking crying sounds. This kind of thing will happen sometimes, just all of a sudden, but I will have to inure myself to it. The woman I fell in love with and promised to spend the rest of my life with hasn’t existed in almost three years, and I should not cry for something that has been over for so long…it’s just that I didn’t know until somewhat recently.

On more uplifting news I re-did my personality type test on OKCupid. I used to be The Last Man on Earth, which I’m sure endeared me to prospective applicants on the site…NOT. I have definitely changed, and am now The Pool Boy.

Dance, Poolboy, dance!

Mood: :cool:

Tonight I competed in a karaoke contest. The winner will win $1,000.

I thought it might be a cakewalk, given that there was only about a dozen people there, but apparently the best from each week return in April for the finals. Poo.

I sang “Love Me Tender” a la Elvis, and was the only singer that anyone danced to, so I think I got bonus points for audience participation. If I’m right, the DJ was in charge of the score and my name was at the top of his list, and not just because my last name begins with an A.

Then I made the mistake of trying to sing “Hotel California”. I started singing during the extended instrumental intro, then got flustered so I think I was half an octave above where I should have been. It’s not good when you can clearly hear your voice over the music while on the stage.

Still, for a guy who has sang in public only once before and has social anxiety disorder, I think I did pretty well. Luckily a guy from work came out to help bolster my courage (thanks Ric!).

Mood: :idea:

Last night I was discussing how I felt with friends and as I rambled the topic turned to why my marriage fell apart. Mellissa was always a very romantic person and followed her heart, while I was always a very logical person and rarely showed emotion. I only talked when I felt it was necessary, preferring to listen. My penchant to listen instead of talk was the first thing that Mellissa noticed and appreciated about me when she first saw me way back in the late 80′s (or was it early 90′s? So long ago…).

My lack of passion due to emotional withdrawal, my yelling at the kids and my inability to talk about our problems started Mellissa down the road to frustrated depression and a search for the “fire” she needed in her soul.

So, Dr. Blog, I have made another insightful personal discovery…the reason that I have been such a cold fish, and will now do my best to turn this around as well.

More »

Mood: :shock:

One thing I just realized as I run through all the stuff I’m going to need to do from here:

I’ve never lived alone before.

I lived with my parents, then moved out with Merrick and Joe near Cultus lake, then in with Ruth, then back in with Merrick at The Mopester’s, then in with Mellissa. I’ve never come home to an empty house every day.

It’s a daunting prospect. I’m currently living with Anthony, but it will be temporary.


Mood: :dead:

It’s such a nice day, which means my allergies are kicking up. Here’s a little ditty to the tune of Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight”:

I can feel the sneezes from the air today, ah-choo!
I’ve been allergic to the pollen for all my life, ah-choo!
Can you feel the sneezes from the air today, ah-choo! Ah-choo!

Well, if you saw that I was sneezing
A tissue would really help
My nose is really red and raw
Without Puffs with lotion I may yelp
Well, I just sneezed on your pantleg
You may not have noticed yet
So you can wipe off that guck, I’m sorry it’s yuck
I can’t control this shit

And I can feel the sneezes from the air today, ah-choo!
I’ve been allergic to the pollen for all my life, ah-choo!
I am still sneezing from the air today, ah-choo! Ah-choo!
And I’ve been allergic to the pollen for all my life, ah-choo! Ah-choo!

Well I remember, I remember don’t worry
How could I ever forget, allergy shots, shot in my arm, puffy, itchy
But I stopped going because it really sucked, hurt like a beast
Didn’t help much; not as such
Maybe I shouldn’t have ceased

And I can feel the sneezes from the air today, ah-choo!
I’ve been allergic to the pollen for all my life, ah-choo!
I am still sneezing from the air today, ah-choo! Ah-choo!
I’ve been allergic to the pollen for all my life, ah-choo! Ah-choo!

Mood: :???:

One thing I’m able to do is adjust my point of view during times of great emotional stress. When I told Mellissa I wasn’t interested in marriage or children after our relationship got serious she told me our time together would be limited because she wanted the opposite. I reevaluated my life within the space of a week and proposed shortly thereafter. When she told me last month that I had to leave because of my anger I did a 180 on my attitude and have become the father I never expected I could be. Now that I have been forced to accept my impending divorce I have once again adjusted my point of view.

I was fooling myself. Mellissa had moved on emotionally months ago but I’m the fixer — I see a problem and I have to fix it. I convinced myself that I could fix my relationship with my kids and our marriage. I see now that I can only do the former. There were things I could have done to keep this from happening, but Mellissa also told me that she suspects she only married me to have kids, so this might have happened anyway.

I was angry at first, but I realized this morning that I wasn’t angry at her. She made up the trial separation in order to preserve my peace of mind and not send me spiraling into despair. Now that I’m happier with myself and my relationship my Geoffrey and Emily I can properly handle our breakup. I told Mellissa last night that being in love was an illusion in an attempt to change her mind, and I meant it. This morning my illusion was gone. I still like her…I still love her…but I’m not in love with her anymore.

I’m still going to have some trouble dealing with when she gets a new boyfriend, but in the meantime we’re still friends. We still finish each other’s sentences sometimes, or arrive at the same idea concurrently.

Maybe she’ll set me up with one of her girlfriends. She has inside information on my sexual prowess after all… :wink:

Mood: :oops:

How evil are you?