Current Mood:Whee! emoticon Whee!

What if our favourite shows were written by stupid Internet people?

Current Mood:Playful emoticon Playful

  1. Shows with sex, extreme violence and swearing are awesome.
  2. If you hit someone harder than a tap, fountains of blood will erupt.
  3. Romans speak in English and Australian accents.
  4. Romans are horrible people.
  5. Romans say “cock” a lot.
  6. Roman women are all of “loose morals”.
  7. Lucy Lawless’s breasts are fantastic.
  8. When all seems lost, just think of your lost love and you can do anything, even when you’re almost dead.
  9. Your life gets better the worse you comport yourself.
  10. I need to exercise more.

Current Mood:Flirtatious emoticon Flirtatious

Since I have come across it a couple times in the last few years, I will now explain this concept using the male cast of Coupling. If you haven’t watched Coupling, go buy, download or YouTube it right now, you poor, deprived person! I’ll warn you now, though…just stop at the end of season 3 and pretend that was it…the shark was not only jumped, but humped, bumped, and trumped in season 4.

Jeff, Steve and Patrick are in the bar on the sofa and side chair, as per usual.




Jeff:  Okay, so I’ll tell you about “The Feeling Ceiling.”
Steve, looking skeptical:  Okay…
Jeff:  Right…so…there’s these women, right?
Steve:  There usually are, with your stories.
Jeff:  Okay, and some of them, for whatever reason, don’t want to hear “the big L” from their boyfriends…it freaks them out and they go all crazy…and not crazy in a good way.
Steve:  I’m familiar with these women.
Patrick:  I love those women! Er, I mean, like them…you know what I mean.
Steve:  Go on, Jeff.
Jeff:  Right…so…with some women, you go out with them for months, and things are going great, but you don’t know how far you can go…how high you can rise in your feelings for them.  You say “the big L”, and BAM!
Steve jumps.
Jeff:  …you hit…THE FEELING CEILING!
Steve:  I see. So…
Jeff:  And once you hit The Feeling Ceiling, you’re done! You’ve hit your head…you can’t go any higher.
Steve:  Right…so…
Jeff:  Even if you broke through, you’d be in the attic!
Steve:  Um…
Jeff:  …where your dad keeps his dirty magazines.
Patrick:  Result! Nice.
Steve:  Jeff…
Jeff:  Then the next thing you know your mum’s calling, “Jeffrey! Are you in the attic? Why is the chandelier shaking?”
Steve:  Too far, Jeff!
Jeff:  Huh? Oh, right…so that’s…”The Feeling Ceiling.” If you’re not careful and go too high, you’ll be in the attic, masturbating.

Steve shakes his head, and Patrick looks thoughtful. Jeff is lost in the moment.

Sound of laugh track clapping.

Current Mood:Sad emoticon Sad

Let this be my official notice that when I die I want to be cremated and my ashes put into an urn-sized police box.


Current Mood:Sad emoticon Sad

So last night I dreamt of being a “me” version of Captain Kirk in the episode The City on the Edge of Forever (omg I got the name wrong and had to look it up! -5 geek points!).  Something had happened to my past and I had to fix it.  I don’t remember too many specifics but despite all the crap I’ve gone through I knew I had to do it for my kids to be born.  I’m sure they’ll be happy to know.

Mood: :shock:

Someone put the pilot for the American version of Red Dwarf up on YouTube (Part 2 Part 3).

So cold…so cold…

Mood: :mrgreen:

My absolute favourite Sesame Street skit didn’t even involve any of the regulars:

Yep yep yep yep yep yep.

Mood: :roll:

Yes, I’m still here!

Ball hockey season started up again, and with all the stuff I have to do at work and the family at home I haven’t had much time for myself.  When I do get time alone I tend to just vegetate, except when I’m forced to figure out why my Usable Freeware site stopped working with its PHP database (host’s PHP upgrade broke my code).

I got sick quite a bit during the early part of the year, so I’ve hit my paid sick day limit already and it’s only halfway through the year.  An air conditioned office is comfortable, but when someone gets sick and comes in because they’re out of sick days, everyone else gets sick and brings down the overall efficiency.

Emily is repeating lots of words.   She’s still mostly babbling, but understands when we tell her to do basic things.  She smiles all the time, loves hugging and kissing, and charms pretty much everyone.

Geoffrey is loving the new Dr. Who episodes.  I suppose I’m going to have to get him a Sonic Screwdriver for Christmas…

I tried to update my ATI video card drivers and it couldn’t find an INI file. I tried to skip it and now my computer boots to 640×480 with 8 colours and no option to go higher. I tried System Restore, uninstalling and reinstalling, but no joy unless I use the Microsoft drivers from Windows Update, and they’re not great. Even DivX video is choppy. With all the problems I’ve had with ATI cards I think my next video card will be a GeForce and I’ll stick with those; never had any problems with nVidia.

I’m posting this with the Performancing Firefox plugin, which allows me to browse in a split-screen while I blog.  If I like it I’ll probably give their free blog metrics service a go.

Mood: :mrgreen:

Matt Kennedy Gould must be the nicest guy, ever. I’m sure the actors that played this huge prank on him were feeling torn as things went on. Hopefully the producers give him the $100K so he can keep his sanity by the time it all winds down.

Almost certainly “Brian” gets “voted” out next. Gotta keep Hutch there to the end to be the asshole foil, and certainly they’ll try to keep Ashleigh as long as possible, as the last, and certainly not the least, attractive girl left.

Mood: :grr:

Attention TV executives! Making the commercials louder than the shows doesn’t make us pay more attention to the products; it makes us mute and, consequently, ignore them.

If the commercials are clever and interesting we will watch them…at normal volume levels.
That is all.